where are you now actually?

to know you as my friend,
"was" my "kebanggaan".
lost you again,
is my "kekesalan".

i know that i am a stingy girl.
dont want to lend you to others,
because i scare i will lose you... again.

you sang me a song in my dream... "starry starry night..."
how much i miss you...
you woke me up in my dream,
so i started to pray for you....
and guest what happened next huh?
i sprained my hand!! while i was trying get up and pray!
( ya lah! woke me so early at 6.00am!! "thank you"!!)

and what now?
I lost you... booo.....
i want to be your compass,
but you don't allow..
remember what reason you gave me,
" is too dangerous for you to follow me go to the Black Forest. I may lost you." you said.
ya!! it is true!! it is not the one you lost me, but me... your compass!!!

uh!!!!!!!!!!!
i(was) hardly to find your footprints that you left!!!
later the moment, a hunter approached me and recued me. ( i lost in the forest)
i refused him, i want to continue searching you..
very well!! ( like that only looks like a cast-away mah...)
he gave some useful equipments to me.. ( GPS, Map, Binoculars, Solartic Torch-light... bla bla..)
i seach for you days and nights.
from sunrise till moonrise. nonstop. my shoes were worn out. ( 1 year past )
result, conclusion... no sight's' of you...
i threw away all the equipments,
i gave up searching you!
i rather being a 'Tarzan' in the forest... ( no lah ofcourse)

i climbed up the highest mount in the forest,
i switched on my GPS,
giving signals,
wait for the hunter to rescue me.

will he come?


























































































































































































































































































































yes! he did!

4 Angels that bring me happiness

Who are the 4 angels that i abmire most?

angel of summer,
angel of happiness,
angel of fruits,
and...
me, angel of why.

what we have done for these 2 years?

so much laughter, tears...
when we will be together again?
shall we meet in scince-stream?
i know A.O.S will be in Account-stream...
we have been seperated once right?
so... i wont cry.
i am very sure that the other three of us will mantain our ...
they call it friendship.


i drew a pair of wings on my T-shirt.
and i hope i can be the best angel of my friends.
for now,
i am missing an angel very very much.
who?
dunno, i dun want to mention her.

i really miss her letters.
i really miss her handwritting.
i really miss her voice.
hope we will meet again...
perhaps...

an angel had hurt me very seriously.
but i have cured the scar that he/she hurted.
thanks for the mentioned 3 angel,
they brought me 'ubat',
that was 'ubat' of joy and true friendship.
i am happy now.
thanks ya! guys...
the coming holiday i will miss you all very much.. in Miri..
gosh! one month training!
how can i forget about it!!

one month without handphone,
blog,
chit-chating whit you all in the 'potato' ( semenanjung Malaysia)
sms-ing,
novels....
oh! i will R.I.P there!!!
........................................................................................................................................................................

Song Of Snow

“难道传说你都信，
谎话你都听。
爱人是救星
还是要你的命！

难道传说你都信，
谎话你都听。
毒药你都饮，
只要心愿意。。。。

只要心愿意。“


这首歌， 相信只有我和夏季天使，才懂得唱吧！
即好听，又有意义。
欢欢天使对我的爱，是“救星“，还是要我的“命“？
我并不知道。
我所知道的，
就是，
这杯毒药我不能饮。

尚若我是你的‘袁紫衣‘，
我宁愿把‘七新海棠‘ 让给‘程灵素‘。
尚若我是‘程灵素’，
我会变成绝世无敌的‘毒手药王‘。
把深藏在我心里的‘情’字，
给毒死掉。
尚若我是‘苗若兰’，
我会继续躺在‘归农‘赐给我的棺材里，
等待死神的到来。
尚若我是‘南兰‘，
我不会准守游戏规则去嫁给
打遍天下无敌手‘苗人凤’。

雪山，
暴风雪，
狐狸，
我不怕。
我只怕爱！

P.M.R

Life is just like a Rubik-cube, a solid of fate and destiny.
What colour to turn, what colour to match, spins beyond your fingers.
Our fate, our life, our whole being, lies in God’s hand.
Couldn’t change it.
Spin…spin…spin…
What is my next colour?
Blue? ( Celcom )
Red? ( Hotlink )
Green? ( Maxis)
Orange? ( U- mobile)
Or maybe yellow. ( DiGi, I will follow you )

Haha….

I don’t know what colour I have past through, and what colour will I crush next.
Pray, is the way to lead me out of the daily stormy sea…


PMR, stands for what?

Pandai
Membuat
Rajin


If you all angels don’t believe, check it out in my class.. 3B.
Almost all of the angels in 3B lost their head. ( cause they are studying diligently)
Ya! I am also one part of them. ( going to drown in the ocean of words )
Thank God, there are quite many St. Johners there in my class. ( rescue the drowned one, donate our CPR. But our precious process of CPR is a bit different for this kind of situation. We don’t give them our precious “kiss” and chest compression of course. We give them chest compression by … using our feet, jump on them, and will say:” wake up you guys, PMR is approaching us, stop acting like a crop so that you can escape from it!)


Especially you Fat Cat of 3B… ( always sing the same song in the class, feel no bored ?)
………………..uh… I “ beh ta han”!

Andrew:“ I’m a Barbie girl…. Live in a Barbie world…. Is fantastic…”
( Fantastic your head!!!)

Chuah:” ne……..ne ni ne ni pupu!! You can’t catch me!!”
( stop that spinning job in the class with all the white shirt blue tie boys lah! Act like kids, chasing all around in the classroom)

Arteries and veins

A murderer is just like a vampire.
Suck out your blood; steal away your soul.
A cold-blooded of gun, a blinded heart and an irreversible shot that may lead you to another destiny.
Choose yourself, turn to heaven, or turn to hell?

What is the taste of blood?

Sweet like a strawberry,
Smell like red roses,
Too lonely, like a floating ice-berg.
Full of tears and laughter.
Acidic, corrosive.

What are the sources of blood?

Ink, papers, words.
Fragrance of money.
The unity of mouth and tongue with silvery blades.
A kiss from a leukemia patient.
Himalaya Mount.
Chaos.

What are the products that produced by blood?

A temple of God.
A New-Jerusalem.
A handful of precious stones—sapphire, ruby, citrine, topaz, jade, jasper, emerald, quartz, pearl, diamond, gold, silver, bronze, crystal, onyx, platinum, sardius, carbuncle, jacinth, agate, amethyst, chrysolite.


Blood is ‘multi-cellular’.

ever think of me? or never!

i think of you eah second, but have you?
you dont.
you glared at me, each time i failed you......
am i just a tiny dust that you cant see?

it is fine....
fine
fine
fine!!!!

i have done many shameful and stupid things infront of you, but you dont care, thank god.
i wan to be your perfect girl-friend. but i cant. because of my creater--- GOD.
i already had targetted by a girl wont you.... ya i know! she wrote a love letter to you b4, but you burnt it..... quite funny...

whom i love actully?
the boy in 3A?
that was last two years love story.... did he knew?
he is quite book-worm looking...( i like that kind of "handsome")
and very talented...
every time he winked at me,
each moment he smiled indirectly at me,
the moment he picked up the bookmark on the floor and returned it to me....
but......
those past was just a tale..
a tale of two angels..

did he ever knew that i have been fallen in "love" with him very much?

......i don't wish to know..
......and i don't wanna to know........
keep it as a secret in my herat deep core.......

Love is kind or blind!?

i have been doing this " middle people" for around half month dy.......

kind of spy duty, but stupid.......

the boy whom i help is a bit shy... so i have to help him to takle his beloved girl.....

love is just seem to be easy to solve, but to solve the problem's solution is quite complicated...

BOY!!! you have to be brave... your mouth should not to be to straight, twist and turn a bit lah.. speaking is like driving, too straight foward and no U turn, can cause accident....... BANG!! oh my gosh!!!! pls keep your eye onthe road while you "driving!! ( e..... or.......e..or.....) see, the ambulance come dy.........


..........................................................................................................................................................................

VICTOR, VICTORIA ....... pls stop forcing me to play your favourite song again.... " mariage d'mour"

i fingers are pricking...

..........................................................................................................................................................................


neuclear bom again from the balcony...... walau!!!! thank god it didnt heat my head.... phew!!!

..........................................................................................................................................................................

Chang Hee, perhaps....... i m not trying to snatch away your "leader" badge.. don't look at me with a blazing look.
your strumming are good, no need to envy me.. i m just good at bass playing part.( thought easy)

i like the song " Apache"
this song is something like...... a magical guitar that bring me to ARABIAN place, COWBOY fighting scenery,TURKISH MARCHING rhythmic........... great!! much lovely than "SWAY"

..........................................................................................................................................................................

your name is CYRUS.
BOND-GIRL looking.......
long long flaxen rebonded hair.....
violence, daring,...
smell like jade.
loves to play dart-gun as a chew toy...

how would i ever miss you....

my secret names

I would like to call myself......

VIOLET BAUDELAIRE......

JANESSA WEASLEY......

KLAUS WATSON......

NATALIE GRIFFINS....

EMMA CAHILL.....

SAPPHIRE MARINE....

GOSPEL RAVENCLAW.....




wow thats sound awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!
do call me wat ever you angels like.................................................

letters.......................... letters.......................letters........

ya!~ i had just posted a letter to an angel in Kuantan Gambang yesterday....

quite happy cause , time past so long and she still can remember me!!!!!

although i have a cell phone, easy to contact with her by SMS-ing... but i much prefer to write letter to her.....

what is a letter mean to you all angels?

just a paper full of elphabert that takes time to read for?

just a job and duty for you to complete it? ( reply letters )


NO........... letters doesn't sound that for me.


contacting by using letters with each other makes me feel like, u never ever want to lost contact with angels... you will be more precious the letters and the hand writting on it.... it comfort me soo much.


ya lah.... i m idiot lah.... got phone to use, but dun wan use.....

so old fashion ... writting letters.........

is fine... say whatever you like...........


.....................................................................................................................................................................

the angel whom i wrote to, is the most understanding me angel...

i known her since i was training in the Penang church...

during those days, she had taught me many precious lesson... and i listened to her..

she had shown me the real angels ang fake angels ( demon among us )...
we had a very happy moment there during the training..
we cried together, laughed together, ate together.... even fight together... haha!!!!

i hope she will please to read my this web page of my blog. it is for her.....

you r only angel i haven't give name yet......

let me think..............


what should i name u as my guardian angel.....


HA!!!! TAG IT! GOT IT!

your name is going to be.........................




" angel of mist"!!!!

i know the "mist" word sounds weird 4 you, but it is very "berharga" 4 me..

remember the scenary outside the bus when we were taking our journey back, it was raining with mist.... pretty sad that day when we had "bertengkar" with an angel, and the scenary outside the bus had match our filling...... i can't forget it.............

ha ha ! dun remind me some one else urine in the bus, during the traffic jam on Penang bridge!
( haha! who told us to drink too much of tasty drink during lunch !!) ....... and we sang together to ferry away our sadness during the night journey back to KL church and put up a night there...

what a wonderful memory you had gave me three years ago... ya! that year, we were still at the age of twelve. not matured yet........

but now we are a teenage 15 already loh........ haiz... old liao!!!!!!

had been 3 years already.... dun no how u grow now?
hope you will reply my letters soon...... hehe!!!!!!!!

letters and our handwritting mix together had form a beautiful friendship... i appreciate that..
n remember what i told you in letter.... TRUST NO ONE!!!

and lastly.... this whole page , one big piece of my "friendship" is for you..... ( hope you like it, my new guardian angel.." angel of mist" )

ZZZZZZZ...............

2day, i went 4 guitar class as usual.....

my 2 guitar family members had already past away.... so, thank God...

some other family can still affort to bring me up, i m an orphan now... so do as my brother, also had been adopted by other family. i hope he will be happy there....

i m a useless leader of my guitar group........T.T

well.... Finally...

i already knew who is my family-hold now....


CHANG HEE?
CHANG YI?


what ever.... i cant spell it... but i knew who is that ...
( wat a skinny boy 0

ya! we play the song "SWAY" today.... with the pain of my head-ache....
finger painful... head painful..... earh.............


I wont give up....


i had left the railway of guitar last 2 years, n why i went back again on this railway?

wat 4?


because of an angel....


and wat the angel did, she had left me.... ALONE....

i became an ORPHAN.......

cry... sad..... lonely....


but i remembered what AMY and DAN told me.....
they also invited me to travel to foreign countries.... i never followed them... but thanks 4 their advice....


they told me in this world, only one rule to succeed things n dreams.... TRUST NO ONE....


AGREED!!!!!


althought i m the branch of EKAT, Alistair and Bae ( also an EKAT ) betrayed me b4....
they r not my people....

white lies.... video tapes.... false note.... LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Hence.........

I... TRUST NO ONE .... anymore......


trust too much , will lead you to death..... is true.

photoes that i wan 2 share

this is me, in the comic that drawn by an angel..... "yeng" leh!!

the witch is me......

n the warrior girl is my fren.... angel of summer....

he drawn a gunner 4 me............ whao...... i still keep it, and a warrior..........

the ten idol in the comic of "Hwa Lian Strike".. ( i m one part of the 10)

i m standing in the lowest part, beside devil, SVD costume, S.W.A.T.!!!!!!!

cool......... i love myself....... holding SNIPER...

i still rmb we S.W.A.T go holiday, n had surfing competition in the ocean...

( i play cheat.... i use bazuka to blast faster than others.... haha! i won!!!)

YOU-KNOW-WHO.....................

THE FAMOUS 3

ME ( the witch), angel of summer ( the warrior), angel of forest ( the assasin)

haha!

hey! long time no see, i thought u mati....

LONG time no see,
Thought I mati?



wah......................... wat mean...



wat i did n done during the holiday???


think..........
think.............



ah!


i know!


i did some stupid things.....



one of them was...... VIEW BACK THE PAST!!!



how?



ask me a ?



ya lah faster la!! tell la!!



ok loh!




the cara i went back 2 the past was.....



by.....



PHOTOS!!!!!!!!!!!




ya la ...



i know im idiot enough.........



but ,


it is cool to know who was my great grandmother....




ya rite!!!! she is cool.......



cooler than i thought....


wat i knew from my grandma was.....




she was from china....
and had went through a lot ( uncountable ) bitter evidents.......
lost a son, because of her brother who was kaki judi.....
no matter how hard she earned money to redeem her "sold" son....
it cant help anything... no more shadow of her son
the worst was.... she didnt even know her son had been sold away....
pretty poor....
may it was a good thing for her son to leave her and live a better life with the rich parents who had bought him........



.......................................................................................................................................................................



m i crazy?


spend the whole week of holiday on photos only?



bleh!!! where got.... so boring meh?


m i tat kind of boring person?

no lah!!!



wan know more..... go ask my fren...QUEK



i attend many many many party.....


gonna be craaaaaaazieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....



ya i m crazy enough now.....


hey!!! i think i want to change my christian in secretly...


maybe.....


like the movie of " lemony snickets a series of unfortune events", the "pretty" girl as JUNE n JANE said. her name was beautiful, VIOLET BAUDELAIRE.

they said the girl pretty, n her brother KLAUS BAUDELAIRE was ugly.. but the small little baby sis SUNNY BAUDELAIRE was cute.....


where gt o......

yala! i agree their little sis was cute... but the girl was ugly n the boy was handsome... very very.. i love him .......... ( ssshhhhhhhh dont let TBY know...)




................................................


ok....

for serius.....


i wanna ask



wat is the mean "JOY" ? ( my mum ask me first )


actually many one of us dunno that, the word mean like that:


Jesus
Others
You

you should not love urself too much,

cause u will not gain happiness

if u place urself 1st in everything,

u shall gain no happiness n "kepuasan sendiri"...

human is like that... wont "puas" with anything ...

bagi 1 inch, mau satu pembaris... human always like that wan...

to avoid, place JESUS N OTHERS 1st...

ppl happy, u will also surely happy n "puas" kerana got GOD 1st...

dun love urself too much..

cause we hav Satan's poison in every each of us.... BERBISA...
wont satisfied wat we had....

Satan: an"ketua" angel.
has pretty sweet voice...

but she/he dont satisfied ( i dunno he or she bcause angel has no sex )
he/she wan same status as God.
he/she betrayed God...
he/she is the 1st liar...


whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo how scary isnt he/she....


so........
let us not be Satan's children...
but be God's children...


Aaron
Melissa
Elaine
Nick


Henry
a
l
l
e
l
u
y
a
h
!



THaTS MY FAMILY!!!!!!!!


FINALE..........